Personal Values Deep Dive: A Relationship-Centered Reflection

Clarify what matters most across the key domains of your life

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Personal Values Deep Dive: A Relationship-Centered Reflection

Clarify what matters most across the key domains of your life

Personal Values Deep Dive: A Relationship-Centered Reflection

Clarify what matters most across the key domains of your life

Values clarification is a cornerstone of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and has been shown to improve relational satisfaction, psychological flexibility, and goal-directed behavior (Hayes et al., 2022; Lundgren et al., 2021). Unlike goals, which can be achieved and checked off, values represent ongoing directions you choose to move toward. This worksheet helps you explore your values across eight life domains. There are no right or wrong answers. If a domain does not apply to you, simply move to the next one.

Family Relationships

Your ideal family dynamic.: If you could design the kind of family relationships you most want, what would they look like? Think about the qualities you would bring to those relationships, such as presence, patience, honesty, or warmth. Consider whether your current actions reflect these aspirations. What is one area where you could invest more intention?Example: You might realize you value being fully present during family dinners but notice that your phone is often on the table.

Intimate Partnerships

The partner you want to be.: Healthy intimate relationships are built on shared values and intentional behavior (Gottman & Silver, 2021). Rather than focusing on what you want from a partner, consider the kind of partner you want to be. How would you ideally show up for your partner emotionally, physically, and in daily life? Where is the gap between your ideal and your current reality, and what small change could begin to close it?Example: You may value being emotionally supportive but realize you tend to offer solutions instead of listening when your partner is upset.

Parenting

The parent you aspire to be.: Parenting is one of the most values-rich domains of life. Think about the personal qualities you most want to bring to your role as a parent or future parent. How would you like your child to describe you when they are grown? What values do you hope to model for them through your daily actions?Example: You might want your children to say you were someone who always made time to listen, even when life was busy.

Friendships and Social Connections

The kind of friend you want to be.: Social connection is a fundamental human need, and the quality of friendships has a significant impact on mental health (Holt-Lunstad, 2021). What qualities do you value most in your friendships? What kind of friend do you aspire to be? Are you actively nurturing the friendships that matter to you, or have some important connections been neglected?Example: You value loyalty and realize you have not reached out to a close friend in months, so you decide to schedule a call this week.

Work, Career, and Learning

Meaning in your professional life.: Beyond earning a living, our work and education can be a source of purpose, mastery, and contribution. What is most important to you about the work you do or the education you pursue? How do you want others to experience you in professional settings? If there is a disconnect between your work values and your current reality, what is one step toward alignment?Example: You value creativity at work but spend most of your day on repetitive tasks, so you explore whether you can take on a new project that excites you.

Rest and Recreation

Honoring the need for play and restoration.: Leisure is not a luxury. Research consistently links adequate rest and enjoyable activities to reduced burnout and improved cognitive function (Sonnentag et al., 2022). What activities genuinely restore your energy? Why are these important to you? If you are not dedicating enough time to recreation, what gets in the way, and how might you begin to reclaim that space?Example: You notice that hiking leaves you feeling refreshed but you have not gone in months because you keep filling weekends with errands.

Spirituality and Meaning-Making

Connecting to something larger.: Spirituality can take many forms, from organized religion to a personal sense of connection with nature, art, or the broader human experience. What does spirituality or meaning-making look like for you? In what ways does it shape your daily decisions? How well does your current life reflect this dimension of your values?Example: You find deep meaning in spending quiet mornings in nature but have replaced that time with scrolling on your phone.

Community and Contribution

Your role in the wider world.: Contributing to something beyond ourselves is strongly associated with life satisfaction and a sense of purpose (Martela et al., 2023). How would you like to contribute to your community or society? What does being a responsible and engaged member of your community mean to you? Are there causes or groups that align with your values where you could be more involved?Example: You care about education equity and decide to volunteer as a tutor at a local after-school program one afternoon a week.

Physical Health and Well-Being

Caring for the body that carries you.: Physical health is the foundation that supports engagement in every other life domain. How would you ideally care for your body through nutrition, movement, sleep, and preventive care? Why does physical well-being matter to you personally, beyond general health advice? If this area needs attention, what is one sustainable change you could make?Example: You value having energy to play with your kids, so you commit to a consistent bedtime rather than staying up late watching television.