My Anger Toolbox
Six cool-down tools with steps to practice, plus a plan for small, medium, and big anger
My Anger Toolbox
Six cool-down tools with steps to practice, plus a plan for small, medium, and big anger
My Anger Toolbox
Six cool-down tools with steps to practice, plus a plan for small, medium, and big anger
Everybody gets mad sometimes. Mad is a feeling, and feelings come and go. What you do while you are mad is the part you get to choose.
This toolbox has six cool-down tools. Practice each one with a grown-up while you are calm. It works like a fire drill at school: when the real thing happens, your body already knows what to do.
For grown-ups: the Turtle is adapted from a 1970s classroom method. Children who felt like lashing out learned to pull into an imaginary shell, then relax their muscles, then work out a solution (Schneider & Robin, 1974). In an early study with 11 children from two classrooms, aggressive behavior dropped in both (Robin et al., 1976). In the heated moment, a cue word such as "Turtle?" or "Spot?" is easier to hear than an explanation. Keep the cool-down spot separate from any time-out spot (Effective Time-Outs covers discipline), and stay close by when young children use the sink.
If your child's anger often ends with someone hurt or things broken, if your child talks about hurting themselves, or if the outbursts are not easing after a few weeks of practice, talk with their pediatrician, school counselor, or a therapist. If anyone is in danger right now, call 911. For thoughts of suicide, call or text 988.
- Fill in the lines at the top with a grown-up: your cool-down spots, the grown-ups who help you, your help signal, and your first tool for big anger.
- Practice each tool on a calm day, a few times a week. Put a check or the date in the second column when you have tried it.
- In the third column, write small, medium or big for the anger each tool fits. Big anger needs a body tool first, like the Turtle or your spot. Save the Feelings Sentence for when your anger is smaller. My Anger Signals can help you tell the sizes apart.
- After you use a tool for real, write yes, a little, or no in the last column. Trying counts, even if the mad feeling did not all go away.
- In the box at the bottom, tell about one time you used a tool.
My cool-down spot at home
My cool-down spot at school
Grown-ups who help me
My help signal (a word or a hand sign)
When my anger is big, my first tool is
| My Tool and How to Do It | I Practiced It (when calm) | When I'll Use It (small, medium or big anger) | Did It Help? (yes, a little, no) |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Turtle: think "Turtle!", tuck into your shell, take three slow breaths | |||
| Squeeze and Let Go: squeeze your fists tight, count to five, let go | |||
| Cool Water: ask a grown-up, run cool water over your hands, sip slowly | |||
| My Cool-Down Spot: go to your quiet spot until your body feels calmer | |||
| Color and Sound Hunt: find five things of one color, then listen for sounds | |||
| Feelings Sentence: once anger is small, say "I feel ___ because ___. I want ___." |
A time I used a tool, and what happened
References
- Robin, A., Schneider, M., & Dolnick, M. (1976). The turtle technique: An extended case study of self-control in the classroom. Psychology in the Schools, 13(4), 449-453. https://doi.org/10.1002/1520-6807(197610)13:4<449::aid-pits2310130420>3.0.co;2-w
- Schneider, M., & Robin, A. (1974). Turtle manual (ED128680). ERIC. https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED128680
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Common Questions
What is the My Anger Toolbox worksheet?
Everybody gets mad sometimes. Mad is a feeling, and feelings come and go. What you do while you are mad is the part you get to choose. This toolbox has six cool-down tools. Practice each one with a grown-up while you are calm.
How do I use the My Anger Toolbox worksheet?
Fill out this worksheet digitally or print it for use in session. You can save your progress with a Pro account. Take your time with each column — there are no right or wrong answers.
Is the My Anger Toolbox worksheet free?
Yes. Like every worksheet on Therapy Resource, it is free to read, print, and download as a PDF, no account required. A Pro subscription adds online filling with saved progress, practice-branded PDF exports, and secure client sharing.
Can I fill out the My Anger Toolbox worksheet online?
Yes. Switch the worksheet to "Type on Screen" mode to fill in the fields directly in your browser before printing. Pro members can also save their entries across sessions and export the completed worksheet as a branded PDF.
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