Introduction to Anger Management: What Anger Is and How to Work With It
What anger does for you, the signs it costs too much, and your own plan for bringing it down
Introduction to Anger Management: What Anger Is and How to Work With It
What anger does for you, the signs it costs too much, and your own plan for bringing it down
Introduction to Anger Management: What Anger Is and How to Work With It
What anger does for you, the signs it costs too much, and your own plan for bringing it down
Anger is the feeling that something is wrong and needs to change. It can run from mild irritation to rage (Reilly et al., 2019), and it has real uses: it flags something you care about, gives you energy to act, and tells people a line was crossed. Aggression is a different thing. It is behavior meant to hurt someone or damage property (Reilly et al., 2019).
Anger becomes a problem when it is felt too strongly, too often, or comes out in harmful ways (Reilly et al., 2019). Watch for anger most days, anger that regularly climbs to 8 or higher on a 1 to 10 scale, anger that stays with you for hours or days, and anger that has cost you something you can name: a partner who tiptoes around you, a write-up at work, a broken phone. Evaluating When Anger Becomes Harmful rates the damage area by area.
Anger management leaves the feeling in place and works on what you do with it. You learn to catch the early cues in your body, your actions, the other feelings mixed in, and your thoughts; to cool your body; to rework hot thoughts; and to say what you feel and want with respect (Reilly et al., 2019). In a review of 154 studies, calming activities such as deep breathing and meditation reduced anger and aggression, while revving-up activities such as hitting a bag or going for a run did not help overall (Kjærvik & Bushman, 2024). A review that pooled 96 studies concluded that psychological treatments for anger generally help, with an average effect in the moderate to large range (Saini, 2009).
This sheet builds your own starting picture and a first plan. To log flare-ups as they happen, use the Anger Episode Tracker.
If you have hit, shoved, grabbed, or threatened someone, or broken things during an argument, tell a mental health professional. Tell your provider, too, if your worst blowups happen while drinking or using, or if a month of practice hasn't brought your numbers down. A therapist or an anger management group can add structure and feedback. If someone at home is afraid of you, or you are afraid of someone, the National Domestic Violence Hotline answers 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. If someone is in danger right now, call 911. If your anger comes with thoughts of hurting yourself, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- Fill in the lines at the top with your anger over the past month: how often, how high, how long, and the number on the 1 to 10 scale where you will start using your plan. Catching it at a 4 leaves more choices than catching it at an 8.
- Answer each prompt in the middle column. Real examples from the past month help most, and short answers are fine.
- In the last column, write one small thing you will do this week with that answer, like checking your jaw at lunch or sending a text to set up a timeout agreement. Leave it blank where no step fits.
- A timeout agreement works like this: either of you can call a timeout, the person who calls it can leave the room, and you both agree to come back and either finish the talk or put it off until later (Reilly et al., 2019).
- For ideas, see Recognizing Your Anger Cues, the Breathing Timer, Cognitive Distortions and Speaking Up with Confidence.
- Use the boxes at the bottom to write what you want anger to do less of, and what you want to keep. Bring the sheet to your next session.
How many days a week I get angry
How high it usually climbs (1 to 10)
How long it usually stays with me
The number (1 to 10) where I'll start using my plan
| Prompt | My Answer | One Step This Week |
|---|---|---|
| Early warning signs in my body (jaw, chest, face, hands) | ||
| What I start doing or saying as my anger climbs | ||
| Feelings mixed in with the anger (hurt, fear, jealousy, embarrassment) | ||
| Thoughts that heat me up, in my own words | ||
| Situations, people or times of day that set me off most | ||
| What shortens my fuse (little sleep, skipped meals, drinking) | ||
| What anger has cost me lately (people, work, money, health) | ||
| What my anger points to that I care about (fairness, respect, safety) | ||
| One way I'll cool my body (slow breathing, muscle relaxation, a timeout) | ||
| One hot thought I'll talk back to, and a cooler version | ||
| Who I can practice saying it assertively with, and what I'll say | ||
| Who I'll ask for a timeout agreement |
What I want anger to do less of in my life
Times my anger helped me speak up or fix something, and what I want to keep
References
- Kjærvik, S. L., & Bushman, B. J. (2024). A meta-analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review, 109, Article 102414. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414
- Reilly, P. M., Shopshire, M. S., Durazzo, T. C., & Campbell, T. A. (2019). Anger management for substance use disorder and mental health clients: Participant workbook (SAMHSA Publication No. PEP19-02-01-002). Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
- Saini, M. (2009). A meta-analysis of the psychological treatment of anger: Developing guidelines for evidence-based practice. Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 37(4), 473-488.
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Common Questions
What is the Introduction to Anger Management: What Anger Is and How to Work With It worksheet?
Anger is the feeling that something is wrong and needs to change. It can run from mild irritation to rage (Reilly et al., 2019), and it has real uses: it flags something you care about, gives you energy to act, and tells people a line was crossed. Aggression is a different thing.
How do I use the Introduction to Anger Management: What Anger Is and How to Work With It worksheet?
Fill out this worksheet digitally or print it for use in session. You can save your progress with a Pro account. Take your time with each column — there are no right or wrong answers.
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